Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey p1
by batman100
Summary: Part one of the Road Trip epic: Featuring crazy driving, a barroom brawl, some sex and the usual comedic chaos, followed by some movie references
1. Chapter 1

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey

I do not own any X-Men: Evolution characters going on a mile-wide, cross-country road trip of complete, utter chaos. Just an example of my insane mind. Enjoy! R&R

Chapter 1

"You have got to be kidding me." Logan grunted as he was seated in the overly crammed X-Trailer van filled with the luggage.

"Hey c'mon now, Wolverine." Scott piped up in the driver's seat before continuing "At least it would be a good idea to see the world, see some sights, live foot-loose and…"

"If you even finish that sentence, there's gonna be a loose foot!" Logan growled, his claws out

"On the road again, I can't wait to get on the high road again…" Jean droned drunkenly as she staggered into the van carrying a large bottle of ginger ale before making an enormous burp

"Oh my egging God! Jean, what the hell's the matter with you? Sheesh, can't you not burp with your mouth closed?" Logan gasped in disgust, weary of Jean's odious breath of caffeine in his face

"Oh boy. This is gonna be a long trip. Well Scott, where to?" Rogue groaned, trying to keep her make-up kit from falling off and damaging the van, since it cost Scott $450 million to buy it

"Oh I thought we might visit…Las Vegas!" Scott roared wildly, tossing out poker chips and opening and chugging a bottle of Michelob

"Scott? Uh…you know you're not supposed to drink that, right?" Kurt asked sheepishly…

Two minutes later….

"'Get the beer, he said.' 'You'll get drunk and have a hangover, I said.' 'I mean it, I said.' "Ever since that incident at that college party, its been nothing but beer, beer, beer, for goodness sakes! Geez! You'd think Scott would likely take up alcohol rehab!" Jean ranted as Rogue was snoring in boredom due to the futile situation

"Hey, hey Kurt. Hand me more a' them burritos, eh?" Scott blubbered drunkenly, trying to drive while looking at the Road Map and balancing his portable stock market ratings phone

"Scott, for God's sake, you know you're not supposed to drive while texting!" Kitty shrieked in horror.

"Eh, relax. What could happen?" Scott asked rhetorically, not knowing he was driving straight for a manure farm.

"CRASH! SPLAT! BLAM!"

"Watch it, you moron!" Rogue shouted, waving her fist at a manure worker while swiping manure off her hair.

"LOOK OUT!" Jean hollered as they headed over the ravine

"SMASH! NEIGHHH!" "BAHHH!" "SCREECH!"

"Thank you Andre, I'll have the veal piccata…" Scott mumbled before passing out.

"Jean? Are we still in America?" Bobby asked rhetorically. Jean just rolled her eyes. Too much cabin fever she thought.

One minute later…

"How in the hell did I get talked into this?!" Jean yelled as she, Logan, Peter and Gambit were at a nightclub

"Oh come on Jean mon ami. Surely, you'd like to enjoy the nightlife, eh?" Remy blubbered insanely

"Hey, move it, Cajun." Logan grunted, shoving Gambit off his stool and on top of Jean. "Oy! Garcon! Where the hell's my wine?" He shouted drunkenly

"Logan, I think you've had enough wine for today. Let's just…" Peter commented before Logan grabbed him by the shirt collar

"Toro! Toro!" Logan hollered in a fake Mexican accent while snatching a burly biker's jacket

"Oh no, this is not good." Peter gulped as the biker stood over Logan with a fierce look

"Hand it over, flatfoot." The biker grunted

"Oh, you mean…this?!" Logan smirked, spraying mace into the biker's face.

"Aaargh! My eyes!" The biker screamed, aiming for Logan but missing and hitting a nearby fuse box.

"Uh oh." Jean gulped as the fuse box started to spark. Then there was a tremendous electrical explosion as the lights went completely off.

"Check please." Logan babbled before passing out as Jean hoisted him up and got out of the now-demolished bar

"say, where's Scott? And Kurt? Didn't they say they were going to get food or something?" Jean asked rhetorically

"Uh, Jean…I think you should see this." Remy gulped as he handed Jean a monthly copy of Model Magazine.

"WHAT?!" Jean roared, echoing throughout the city

One day later…

"Uhhh…my head…where the bloody hell am I?" Scott mumbled, not noticing he was in a hotel room. "Whoa…hold on now, naked, beautiful brunette…uh, three glasses of caviar wine…uh, oh dear…a photo of Cindy Crawford?!"Scott gasped before Jean entered in a more sluggish state than him

"Oy, what a weird dream I had…we were driving for hours in the middle of nowhere, we come across this huge manure truck…get lost, tied up, taken to Scandinavia…made out with Russian diplomatic bachelors…uh, got arrested…oh. I guess that wasn't a dream, was it?" Jean asked embarrassed.

"Well, look whos talking!? And will somebody, for the love of Monty Python, get Kurt OUT OF THE ICE BOX!" Rogue bellowed as Bobby entered wearing nothing but his brown shorts, a torn-up white shirt, and a mangled tree branch necklace.

"Whoa, dudes! Did you see that UFO last night? Dude, it was totally groovy, baby! Far out!" Bobby blubbered in a strange Austin Powers accent

"Did you let Bobby watch Austin Powers again?! You know he acts crazy when he sees stuff like that!" Jean snapped

"GET IN MY BELLY!" Bobby screamed at a whimpered Kurt

"First, you're not Mike Myers. Second, you're a mutant. And third, put some clothes on!" Rogue screeched as she dragged a totally drunk Logan into the now crowded hotel room

"What the hell's with him?" Scott asked, noticing Wolverine with multiple bruises

"Let's just say Logan got mixed with some bikers and leave it at that, comprende?" Ororo instructed

"Is that…is that hair gel?" Logan asked as he sniffed Scott's hair for traces of gel

"GET OFF ME! Jeez, what the heck, man?! You're totally drunk, you know that?! Nobody has consumed more alcohol in Las Vegas in a hundred years!" Scott ranted hysterically

"Smart move for you to rent American Gangster last night, Jean. Yesterday, he was acting like Denzel Washington's character for three freakin hours! He always kept saying "My man" when something awesome happens!" Rogue grunted

"My man." Scott grinned at an embarrassed Rogue while Jean was nonetheless amused by Scott's acting

"Bravisimo. You should consider acting. That'd be an excellent career." Jean said approvingly

"Uh, earth to Jean? Mission Control speaking: Mutants in Hollywood, of all places! NEVAH! Hoo-ah!" Rogue shrieked

"OK, Al Pacino wannabe, let's pack up and amscray. I hear police sirens comin'." Bobby added nervously as police troopers entered the building

"Wait!" The brunette followed them.

"Well, that's just great. We get mixed in a model misunderstanding, get boozed at a bar, have sex with a brunette chick, are tailed by cops, now the chick wants to get involved in this triangle of trouble!?" Rogue barked

"To be fair, she may be useful. After all, she did work with Cindy Crawford." Scott replied, drooling over the photo of Cindy

"Oh dear." Jean moaned. "This trip can't get any more crazier…"

Later that evening…

"You just had to say that, didn't you Jean?!" Bobby snapped as he, Jean, and the X-Gang were in a prison cell block

"Well at least this jumpsuit fits perfectly. Do you think they have bungee jumping activities here?" Scott giggled insanely

"Yes, they do have bungee jumpers. NO THEY DON'T!" Rogue hollered

"WHOOPEE! Jailhouse Rock!" Scott whooped while getting angry remarks from the prison wardens.

"Well, now what do we do?" Rogue asked in boredom while seeing Scott slip through the prison door. "Scott! What in the Sam Hill are you doing?!" she screamed

"Getting us out of prison. In technological terms, of course." Scott whispered

"Oh that's great. Also, James Bond called. He wants his laser watch back!" Rogue commented sarcastically not noticing Scott had sneaked into the security station. "Oh boy. This is just great. Here we are in the slammer, and our crazy leader's trying to get us out using newfangled sci-fi doohickeys." Rogue moaned before a loud explosion occurred.

"What in God's name was that?!" Bobby asked nervously before hearing a familiar sounding victory yell.

"Looks like Scott took out the security. Literally. In explosive terms, of course." Rogue grinned.

"OK gang, the car's out in the parking lot!" Scott ordered as he cut loose the prison door with his visor.

"Wow! This is like something from that show where that guy gets out of prison by digging tunnels! What was it again?" Jean asked dreamily before Rogue grabbed her arm with a swift motion

"Save it for later, Red!" Logan barked "Let's get out of here!"

Two minutes later…

"Daddy, daddy get me out of here!" Remy sang as the van sped along on the road

"You just had to bring the David Bowie CDs, didn't you?" Jean moaned

"To be fair, he sounds good." Scott commented, while moving his head to the beat

"Listen guys, its 3 in the morning. Can we at least get some sleep? I…I haven't had a good snooze in weeks." Tabitha moaned, trying to keep her bloodshot eyes open

"Jean, are we there yet?" Remy sang as they sped through

"No, Gambit, no we're not." Logan replied grouchily

"How bout now?" Remy added

"No god damn…it GAMBIT!" Logan yelled

"You just had to let him watch DragonBall Z Abridged, didn't you?" Rogue commented

"Hey Logan." Remy piped up

"WHAT?!" Logan grouched

"Don't drop the soap." Remy joked

"AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!" Logan roared as the van drove through the Rocky Mountains


	2. Chapter 2

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey

Chapter 2

"Are we there yet?" Scott asked for the umpteenth time as the X-Gang passed through the Mojave desert not noticing them running over an armadillo

"WHAM! THUD! EEERRK!"

"What the hell was that?" Jean groaned sleepily, reaching for her soda

"I think we squashed an armadillo. Ugh, and it got its slime on the wheels." Kitty retched in disgust

"Aw will you quit your yapping? I cant concentrate on driving with you and Mr. Take-Us-Around-the-Frickin-World over here!" Logan grunted, not knowing Scott's fingers making a bunny ears over Logan's head

"Hey, Logan, want a carrot?" Scott snickered, shoving a large carrot into Logan's mouth

"What the hell are you doing?!" Rogue screamed, trying to control the wheel

"Uh…feeding the rabbits?" Scott answered sheepishly

Jean rolled her eyes and hissed at Scott "Sit down!" and plopped him on their bunk

"UGH! MMRPHHGLLE GARDOBNIT NOTT JED ERIS DARROT OTF OHG MIH MOUFF!" Logan grumbled

"What?" Scott asked with a confused look. "You have a Jared in your mouth?"

"That's Jared!" Rogue chimed on cue

"Will you stop repeating jingles from jewelry commercials and help me learn what the bloody hell Logan's trying to say, gotta get that name, gotta get that name…" Scott ranted

"Oh no, not more singing…Please not that." Jean moaned, rubbing her forehead

"We've got to get that name! Got to get that name!" Rogue crooned, hovering over Jean's face

"AAAARRRRGHHH!" Logan roared, spitting the overgrown carrot out of his mouth as it launched into a passing Chevrolet where it exploded on target like a vegetable missile

"Wow! Now that's an explosion!" Kurt replied, snapping photos of the flaming vehicle

"Ugh…Scott, what the hell is going on here? And why is there carrot leaves stuck in my hair?" Logan grouched

"Let's keep that our "little" secret, Ok?" Jean instructed

"So much for the Midas touch…" Logan grunted, not noticing Rogue with her CD

"Oh no… Not again" Jean moaned

"With the fabulous, marvelous Mi-das To-uch!" Rogue crooned on chorus

"Ok, miss opera singer, come over here and let me give you a Midas touch!" Logan growled

"The Lord is good to me…" Scott sang while on his guitar

"Ugh…I just hatethose tall tale medleys." Jean moaned


	3. Chapter 3

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey

Chapter 3

"Ok, here we are! The Roadview Diner!" Scott cheered as he and the X-Gang entered the fast food diner

"And it's about time we got some food, apart from that carrot stunt you pulled!" Logan grumbled

"Now Logan, I'm sure Scott didn't do it on purpose. He was just joking. At least have a sense of humor." Jean soothed him, rubbing his shoulders

"That's great. I'm being massaged by Red, while carrot-boy's hogging the soda fountain." Logan muttered

"Gee, Scott, you really need that much soda? After last night?" Kurt asked

"What happened last night? How much soda did I have?" Scott responded

"Well…" Kurt groaned

One night before…

"Uh, Logan? Two things: One, we're low on gas, and two: we need more food." Scott added

"Ok, fine, we'll stop at Shell. Get the stuff. And make it fast." Logan ordered

"Oui, mon capitaine." Remy grumbled sarcastically

"I HEARD THAT CAJUN!" Logan snapped

"Ok, ok. Sheesh, what a grouch." Remy muttered, waving his hands in the air

"Ok now lemme see…Hmmm…should I take the Pepsi Wild Cherry…or the Mountain Dew Code Red? Hmmmm…" Scott studied carefully

"Pepsi Wild Cherry." Scott decided, filling up the extra-extra large cup before carefully sealing it with a lid, getting a straw and heading to the van

"Holy…Scott, did you go into that novelty shop again?" Rogue asked flabbergasted by the size of Scott's drink

"Hey, it's paradise." Scott commented, taking a sip

"Uh, question: How much did you fill in that cup?" Kurt asked rhetorically

"Um… 126 gallons. Why?" Scott answered

"No reason." Kurt responded

one second later…

"Oh you've got to be kidding me! We stop at that crappy gas shop, fill up the van, then you come in with that humungous cup of caffeine, and now you have to use the loo now?! At four in the morning?! Oh I need a Cuban cigar…" Logan groaned as Scott was in the men's room

"This is crazy. I told Scott not to drink that much soda. Why couldn't he get some tea, or lemonade, for God's sake!" Jean moaned

"To be fair, he did get that by oh…using your credit card." Kurt added in a low voice

"He did WHAT?!" Jean roared, gripping Kurt by his shirt collar

"Uh…you're starting to foam at the mouth. Oh scratch that…you have fur growing on your arms. Now your legs…your neck…eh…Jean?" Kurt whimpered in fear

"RRAOWWWR!" Werewolf Jean roared

"AAAAGGGH!" Kurt screamed and scrambled into the men's room, bowling over Logan

"What in the hell's wrong with you? And what was that roaring sound?" Logan grunted

"Jean. She's a-a w-were-were" Kurt stuttered

"Oh for the love of Pete! Kurt honestly, its not like Jean turned into a…werewolf." Logan gulped at Jean's lycanthropic state

"Ok, now I know renting An American Werewolf in London was a bad idea." Kurt commented

"Scott! For God's sakes, GET OUT OF THE MEN'S ROOM!" Logan hollered

"What? What's going on? It's like there's some werewolf running around in here." Scott barked

"Uh Scott…" Kurt whimpered

"What?!" Scott griped

"Behind you." Logan groaned

"FRRAOWWR!" Werewolf Jean roared

"Oh…my…God." Scott said in shock

"WHAM!"

Werewolf Jean collapsed on the ground and reverted to her human self. Standing over her was Colossus with a shovel in his hand and Scott, Logan and Kurt looking at him in surprise, adoration and utter confusion

"What?" Colossus asked before seeing Jean and looking at the shovel "Oops." He commented

Back at the diner…

"So lemme get this straight: Jean turned into a werewolf after drinking my soda, right?" Scott asked after hearing the crazy story

"Yep." Kurt nodded. Scott then dumped his soda

"What are you doing?!" Kurt asked

Scott turned to him and filled his cup with lemonade

"Getting some lemons." He commented


	4. Chapter 4

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey p4

Chapter 4

"Ahhh, nothing like soaking it up in a hot tub at the Radisson Inn, right boys?" Scott asked

"_I'm gonna soak up the sun, gonna tell everyone.._" Jean droned drunkenly as she staggered into the tub with a large glass of ginger ale

"Oh great. Here comes Ms. Werewolf" Logan grunted sarcastically, lighting his cigar

"Say…that lighting. That reminds me of something…" Scott teased jokingly

"NO! NO MORE SINGING!" Logan thundered

"Ok" Scott replied

"Ugh… Thank **God**" Logan heaved before seeing Scott strum his electric guitar

"_You know that it would be untrue, you know that I would be a liar. If it was I said to you, girl; we couldn't get much lighter_." Scott sang dramatically

"Ooh! I love Doors music!" Jean squealed

"Jean…You're not **helping**." Logan hissed before saying to Scott "GIVE ME THAT FRICKIN GUITAR!"

"_C'mon baby, light my fire, c'mon baby, light my fire. Try to set to the night on fire._" Scott crooned

"Aaargh!" Logan lunged for Scott, only to miss and fall into the pool and on top of Gambit

"_The time to hesitate is through. No time to wallow in the mire. Try now we can only lose, and our love become a funeral pyre_." Scott crooned as Jean caressed him

"You've got to be joking." Logan grunted

"Urmph! Logan, please…get off me." Remy wheezed before hearing distinctive rap music "Oh no…"

"What?" Logan asked before seeing Jean "Not that **again**"

"_Grey Jean Grey desperado, rough rider, no you don't want nada, none of this, sister, six-shootin this, it's like I'm telling ya. Any damsel in distress better in that dress when she meets Jean Grey. So don't get bumrushed breakout at the Wild Wild West!_" Jean rapped with Colossus, Bobby, Tabitha and Kitty as backup singers

"Oh brother… KNOCK IT OFF!" Logan hollered before noticing the spider blade whirring at him and Remy's direction

"Now what?" Both men asked in unison

"BLAM! CRASH! FIZZ! SPLASH! THWACK!"

"Ow…" Bobby moaned

"Check please." Jean asked rhetorically

"Hey Logan." Remy asked

"Oh god Gambit now what?" Logan snapped

"I can fly!" Remy boasted

"Ohh…ohh." Logan moaned

"You okay, Logan?" Remy asked

"Just an aneurysm of sheer stupidity." Logan growled

"Gee, didn't think you were that stupid, Logan." Remy joked

"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!" Logan screamed in annoyance, augrish and desperation


	5. Chapter 5

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey p5

Chapter 5

"Scott! For God's sakes cant you just gargle with mouthwash like a normal mutant?!" Logan protested

"Ah forget it, Logan. Scott's just being silly." Jean yawned before turning off her lamp light and settling in

"Well that's just great! Now what?!" Logan barked loudly

"Shhhhh!" Remy hushed loudly

"Ok ok geez." Logan grunted, rolling his eyes before entering the bathroom

"Ogh…egh Logan." Scott muttered

"For God's sakes, spit that toothpaste s*** out!" Logan snapped

"Ahhh…much better." Scott replied, after spitting the paste out and getting some on Logan's hair

"Ok cyke, now listen. Red an' the group are out, so you an me are stayin' here. You got me? I'm not mad: here are the two most important rules: Never snitch and **always** keep your mouth shut." Logan ordered, placing his arm around Scott's shoulder

"Were you watching Goodfellas yesterday Logan? 'Cause I swear Robert DeNiro said that exact line in the movie." Scott stated observingly

"Ah what's the use, we can talk about it in the morning. Now zip it and get some shut-ass." Logan barked

"Ok." Scott complied and settled in the bathtub before snoring

"Ugh…just what I want to hear at night. Nothing but loud breathing between your nose holes and the mouth." Logan griped as Scott tossed and turned

"Urmm…Jean….yes that's it…oh Jean…" Scott moaned

"What the hell are you blubberin' about **now**?" Logan hissed

"Mmmm….just a little lower…ohhh….that's it Jean…ohhh….ooh…" Scott moaned

"Oh…mein….gott." Kurt gasped seeing what's going on

"And three's a crowd." Logan snarled before grabbing Kurt and hurling him into the room before locking the door "What the Sam Hill you doin' elf?!" He hissed

"I just went down to get a snack." Kurt replied meekly

"AT TWO IN THE MORNING?!" Logan roared

"Hey! Logan! Would you do us a favor and shut your damn piehole!" Rogue snapped bitterly

"ooh…oh Scott…just a little lower…ohhh….oooh…uhhh…ooh" Jean moaned

"You've **got** to be kidding me." Kurt groaned

"Hey! That was **my** line in this story!" Logan barked

"Well, to be rhetorical, catch phrases are borrowed by fellow characters." Kurt added

"Since when did **you** watch Discovery Channel?" Logan joked sarcastically

"Hey…did the pizza get here yet?" Scott moaned sleepily

"The pizza's here. Get it and bring it here **quietly**!" Logan ordered

"Sir, yes, sir!" Scott complied in full Army salute before marching out and with Kurt

One minute later….

"Um, Scott? What are we doing in Domino's Pizza at two in the morning again?" Kurt asked nervously, checking for police cruisers

"Getting our pizza order and bringing up to our hotel cabin." Scott answered "Now help me unlock these doors here."

"Yes sir." Kurt complied, setting up his blowtorch and blazing it through the metal key before the doors broke loose and crashed in a heap

"Nice work, Kurt!" Scott complimented. "Now let's get our meal ticket!" He grinned, rushing in

"And getting out before the cops come." Kurt added under his breath before rushing in also

two minutes later…

"oooh…yes Scott, yeah…ooh…I feel so sexy…oooh…oh…put a bun in my oven…yeah…" Jean muttered in her sleep

"Got any fives?" Logan asked

"Go fish." Colossus answered as he, Logan, Remy, Bobby and Forge were playing cards in the restroom. It's been two minutes since Scott and Kurt left for their so-called "pizza order." Logan knew that with those two, chaos and disaster was in motion

"Ugh…where the hell are they? It's three in the morning, Jean's still snoozing, the Knicks are playing five-to-one, and now we're in here playing cards for God knows how long!" Logan moaned

"Here you go. I got the Knicks game on my portable TV." Colossus said, handing it to Logan

"Gee, thanks big guy." Logan said, grinning, giving him a pat on the back

"My pleasure." Colossus replied, smiling

"We got it!" Scott whispered as he and Kurt entered with their pizza box

"All right! Nothing like some cheese an pepperoni in the morning!" Remy howled with delight

"Hey boys…as long as you have that… save some for me?" Jean asked sleepily

"Of course, Red." Logan grinned, handing her a fresh-baked slice

"_Round round get around, I get around._" Bobby sang

"Ok, we could use some Beach Boys music, right Logan?" Scott asked

"Oh yeah." Logan replied as all clinked their Pepsi glasses


	6. Chapter 6

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey p6

Chapter 6

"Ah what a beautiful morning!" Kurt said, breathing in the fresh air

"And how! At least the pizza was delicious!" Colossus added, licking his chops

"Hey guys! How bout stopping by McDonalds for some lunch?" Scott asked

"Sounds good to me!" Colossus replied with a thumbs up.

One second later…

"ahhh… this is the best road trip ever!" Kurt sighed happily, munching on fries

"You said it kid." Logan commented before continuing "What was your best part of this trip?"

"Hmmm…." Jean thought "I was thinking maybe that carrot Scott shoved in your mouth?" She said giggling

"Yeah you're right, that actually was pretty funny." Logan chuckled

"Ooh! And the prison breakout?! Man, that was a-1 classic!" Lance howled with laughter

"I know, right?! That was totally something out of like Mission Impossible!" Scott replied

"But without Tom Cruise." Jean joked

Everyone cracked up at that comment "Wow…this is awesome. I mean, we traveled across the world, got in a few detours, got arrested, got mixed in a bar brawl, had our differences, and got a lot of food…oh and the werewolf part. But I think the best part of it all was…It brought us all closer. Like a family." Bobby said

"Oh…that was **beautiful**" Jean sobbed happily

"Was that by any chance Shakespeare?" Logan asked

"Nah, just something I had written down at my acceptance speech last week." Bobby replied

"Group hug!" Colossus ordered

"It may be a crazy life…" Scott said

"But it's **our** life." Jean added in


	7. Chapter 7

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey p7

Chapter 7

"Here we are, guys! Las Vegas, Nevada, home of the loosest slots!" Scott said cheerfully as he and the X-Gang entered the Casino Farm building

"Now listen clear; I don't want any more trouble like last time; so please stay close. Colossus, you and Logan keep an eye on Scott and Kurt. Make sure they stay out of trouble." Jean instructed

"Yes ma'am." Colossus replied before him and Logan entered the slot machine area

"Hoo baby! I'm rackin' up $45 mil by the minute!" Scott howled, his hands bulging with dollar bills

"Uh Scott, what's that you're drinking? It better not be…" Kurt asked before…

"RRRAOOOWWWRRR!" a horrific growl echoed through the hall

"What the hell was that?" Logan asked, his claws out

"Jean." Colossus whispered in shock

"What? What is it about Jean that I- oh no." Logan instantly remembered the gas station incident

"I think Scott and Kurt are in trouble." Colossus commented

"Save the observations for later. If we don't get in there, there's gonna be one hell of a money withdrawal!" Logan hollered as he and Colossus barged in

"GRRAWR!" Werewolf Jean roared savagely as she cornered Scott

"Jean. Look at me, look at me, dammit! It's me Scott." Scott screamed

"Out of the way! Runaway limo!" a security guard screamed

"YEEEHAAAA!" Remy screamed as he drove the car like a maniac

"LOOK OUT!" Rogue shrieked as they headed for the window and Werewolf Jean

"Oh dear." Tabitha whimpered, covering her ears

"CRASH! WHAM! BLAM!"

"Ohhh…my back." Scott whimpered

"Ugh…what the hell happened last night?" Jean moaned, dazed

"Oh my god! Remy, you maniac! You ran over Jean!" Rogue snapped

"Somethin' tells me that **wasn't** Jean. No, that thing was hairy, with claws, fangs and the look of a savage." Remy noted

"What the hell happened? We heard the crash, and… whoa, you ok, Scott?" Logan asked

"Help me and Jean up. And hey…get the money also." Scott instructed

"You got it, partner." Logan commented, carefully hoisting the two up while Colossus gathered up all the team's winnings.

"Geez, you think what happened there's gonna wind up on the news? I mean, damn, that'd be one hell of a top story on CNN." Bobby said

"Ah forget it. Let's get to the car and get some shut-ass." Logan grumbled

"Logan!" Jean hissed

"What?" Logan replied

"Watch your language. Not in front of younger readers." Jean hissed

"Ok, ok, geez. This is not what I call a **normal** vacation." Logan heaved, smoking his cigar

"To be fair, whenever we do something, normality goes out the window and is lost in a tidal wave of chaos, insanity, mishaps, explosions and food." Scott noted

"Sheesh, since when did **you** all of a sudden watch 48 Hours Evidence?" Logan joked

"Haven't we used that joke enough? That's what they call an overly-long gag." Kurt piped up

"Please don't tell me he's been on TV Tropes again. **Especially** after that Batman incident." Logan commented

"Zip it, get in the car and lights out. Colossus, you drive." Jean ordered

"Yes ma'am." Colossus replied and put the gear into drive


	8. Chapter 8

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey p8

Chapter 8

"Ugh…what time is it?" Scott moaned, wiping the sweat off his forehead

"One in the morning." Colossus replied, driving through the interstate

"Oh great. Ugh, what a vacation. First, we drive through a manure truck, then a bar fight, then get mixed with a chick, get arrested, break out of prison, drive through the desert, get caught in a werewolf attack at both a gas station and Las Vegas of **all** places and…where are we now?" Scott asked, having summed up his monologue

"Still in Las Vegas, around Highway 67-B." Colossus replied before turning and scanning the van. Jean was playing cards with Rogue and Remy. Tabitha was asleep, snoring on her bunk. Logan was watching football on his portable TV with Bobby and Kitty. Kurt was reading through his diary. Ororo was listening to her Whitney Houston music and Warren was using his punching bag

"Scott? You haven't slept in weeks since we started. What's been troubling you?" Colossus asked hopefully

Scott exhaled and took a sip of his lemonade before answering "I've been thinking about Madelyne."

Colossus remembered the name…and the events that followed. "She did have an effect on you for sure. But listen to me when I say this: She was persuading you to turn from Jean, even turn from us. Love can be wonderful, and…it can have many effects on people. She **did** love you, but she did it only to **control** you. Understand?" He asked

Scott nodded and said "Thanks for the speech, big guy. You know, ever since we started this crazy trip, I think we've grown closer…you know, you're like a brother to me."

Colossus smiled and said "Same with you, my brother." Then he shook his hand firmly

Scott yawned "Geez, what a night. I don't even remember what happened in Vegas."

Colossus grinned and replied "Hey, you know what they say: What happens in Vegas…"

Scott finished the sentence "….stays in Vegas" The two laughed loudly and joyfully before getting two bottles of lemonade

"Cheers." Scott said as the two clinked their glasses. There was silence, the two looked then burst into laughter again.

"Hey! What are you two laughing about? It's three in the morning, for God's sakes!" Tabitha yawned before going back to sleep

"Hey Tabitha, c'mon over here and have a drink with the guys." Scott chuckled as Colossus handed a third glass to Tabitha

"Gee, you two have been quite the buddy system since this trip started." Tabitha noted before continuing "By the way, what the heck was that growling noise I heard in Vegas yesterday?"

Colossus looked to see if Jean was listening "Uh…let's keep that our 'little' secret, ok?" he whispered, giving Scott a thumbs-up

Scott nodded and settled into his bunk "We should be in Dallas by morning."

Colossus replied "Affirmative" and accelerated on the gas as they drove past Mount Rushmore


	9. Chapter 9

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey p9

Chapter 9

"Well here we are: Quality Inn. About 75 rooms in 4 floors, a large swimming pool right by where the rooms are located-and an arcade room across the pool!" Bobby noted as he helped Colossus bring their luggage in their designated hotel room

"Ahhh, nothing like the hotel activity." Scott grinned as he flipped the channels on the TV for HBO

"What's good on HBO tonight?" Colossus piped up while bringing in their pizza order

"Get this…The Hunger Games." Scott noted

"Oh brother, please don't tell me its that film with the bow and arrow chick and all…" Bobby groaned

"To be fair, the film is pretty popular. Also, it may wind up on the Oscars list." Scott commented

"Or Golden Globes." Colossus piped up

"Ok boys, move over, Tabitha and I are gonna catch some Z's." Jean ordered as she and Tabitha got settled in

"Hey Scott? Can you do us a favor?" Tabitha asked

"What's that?" Scott answered

"Turn the volume down a wee bit." Jean answered sleepily before starting to snore

"Ah geez! Now I can't hear the action scenes due to Red's snoozing." Logan grumbled, while munching hungrily on his fried chicken

"Ugh! Logan, **must** you eat that with your mouth open!" Scott snapped, turning a bit green

"Hey…it's what's for dinner you know." Logan added before ferociously munching on a burrito

"That's beef!" Scott corrected, while wiping the chicken bits off his face

"What's that?" Colossus piped up, his hearing abilities picking up something "Sounds like beeping"

"That would be Remy in the arcade. No doubt he's playing pinball again." Scott groaned before seeing Rogue

"Oh dear God, not **more** singing…" Jean moaned, placing her pillow on top of her head

"_He's a Pinball Wizard, there has to be a twist! A Pinball Wizard that just can't resist! Sure likes to play pinball_!" Rogue echoed, strumming her electric guitar

"Ugh…can't this music get more crazier?" Jean moaned

"Not as crazy as **that**." Colossus commented, directing her attention to Remy

"Not the David Bowie thing **again**…." Logan moaned

"_Daddy daddy get me out of here_!" Remy sang wearing David Bowie's outfit from Labyrinth

"_Heard about a place to stay_" Rogue chimed in

"_I, I'm underground"_ Remy sang

"_Where nothing ever hurts again…_" Rogue added

"_Heard about a place to stay"_ Remy crooned

"_Daddy get me out of here_" Tabitha joined in

"_Where nothing ever hurts again_." Remy swooned

"_Daddy daddy get me out of here_!" Scott exclaimed on tune

"Atta boy, Scott!" Colossus roared, strumming his guitar

"Then again…this music **is** pretty good." Jean commented, strumming her body to the beat


	10. Chapter 10

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey p10

Chapter 10

"Scott? What's going on? It's about after midnight." Jean yawned sleepily as Scott entered the room after a refreshing swim. Colossus followed, carrying his swim bag

"Ah, thought me and Colossus here would take a dip, eh buddy?" Scott grinned, nudging Colossus playfully

"Yep, oh and we had a few rounds at skee-ball also." Colossus added

"Well, it's good you two had fun. Now how 'bout getting out of those trunks and get some sleep, for goodness sakes. Besides Scott, you could use it, you've got some circles growing there." Jean noted

"What's this I hear about skee-ball all of a sudden?" Remy piped up, having woken up after hearing that topic

"Ugh..Remy, you're dreaming again. Go back to sleep." Rogue grumbled, wearing her night mask over her head

"Uh, Rogue…isn't that *my* night mask?" Scott asked rhetorically

"Uh…yeah." Rogue answered sheepishly

"Ah what the heck. You can borrow it." Scott added

"Ok." Rogue commented before settling down after Remy got up

"Ok, Scott, Kurt, Colossus…let's get our pizza order." Remy roared excitedly before doing the Indian mating call

"What in the world is going on here?! Have you guys gone nuts?!" Jean shrieked, covering her ears

"Ughh…hey guys, lemme come also. I placed a pepperoni with extra cheese order." Tabitha yawned, putting her coat on

"Oh no you don't!" Jean hissed before blocking the group's path. "Do you *want* to wind up in prison again?!" She snarled

"Ok, new plan. Red's coming so she can stand guard." Remy noted

"Gee, good idea." Colossus commented before noticing the look on Jean's face. "Oops."

One minute later…

"Refresh my memory: *How* did I get talked into this crazy idea?!" Jean grouched as she stood by the entrance of Pizza Hut.

"Ok Colossus, hand me the blowtorch." Scott instructed as he and Kurt stood by the back entrance

"Here you go, boss." Colossus hollered, handing the acetylene torch to Scott.

"Ok Kurt, light 'er up." Remy barked

"Yes sir." Kurt commented, blowing off the padlock to the door entrance

"CRRREAK!"

"Uh, Colossus?" Scott asked

"Yeah, buddy?" Colossus answered

"Are steel doors supposed to make loud, grinding, squeaks like that?" Scott asked nervously

"LOOK OUT!" Kurt hollered as the door broke off the hinges

"Oh boy." Colossus groaned, covering his ears

"CLASH!"

"What the *hell* was that?!" Jean barked

"Uh…the back entrance door fell off." Scott replied meekly

"Well get it back on then *now*! And get the pizza! I'm freezing out here!" Jean ordered

"Uh…ok." Colossus commented before turning to Kurt. "Help me put this thing back on the hinges…*quietly*"

"You got it." Kurt answered before seeing Scott and Remy enter "Where are you two going?"

"To get our food. Tabitha's down there to make sure everything's secure." Scott replied before he and Remy raced down the staircase

"Oh boy." Kurt moaned before stretching and pushing up the back door

"Put your backs into it, boys!" Jean ordered "Use some muscle, for goodness sakes!"

"No problem." Colossus commented, armoring up

"Ugh…jeez this thing's heavy." Kurt grunted, grinding his teeth

"Erk…almost got the first hinge." Colossus grunted, holding it

Meanwhile, in the restaurant…

"Now remember Remy, no goofing off this time." Scott ordered as they entered the kitchen

"It's dark in here. And there's quite…a lot of knives." Remy said nervously as he stood near a cleaver

"Ah, relax, it's only plastic. Now quit being dramatic and help me get our odor!" Scott ordered before Remy burst out laughing "What's so funny?"

Remy chuckled "You said 'odor' instead of order" before cackling like a hyena

"Ok ok very funny. Now help me get the order. And keep the giggles down, so the cops don't hear." Scott instructed before noticing "Hey Tabitha, you got the security cameras shut off?"

Tabitha replied on her walkie-talkie "Roger that. Managed to cut the green wire with your laser watch. It's a pretty nifty tool."

"Got that. Get the order out on the double. And make it fast." Remy added before turning to Scott "We'd better see how Kurt and Colossus are holdin' up. I think they're stalling."

"Oh, come on! Those two are professionals, for crying out loud! Sheesh, what could they be doing?" Scott asked rhetorically

Back in the alley…

"Have you two geniuses fixed the door yet? It's now 6 am and I've counted at least three police cars passing by!" Jean hollered, trying to keep her eyes open

"Ugh…Kurt, hand me that Philips screwdriver will ya?" Colossus ordered

"Ok." Kurt answered and rummaged through the tool box

"CLATTER! BANG! CRASH! TINKLE!"

"Oops." Scott's voice echoed from the kitchen

"What did you do *now*?!" Jean hissed

"Nothing. Just tripped over the janitor's broom and Remy got a frying pan glued to his butt." Tabitha piped up

"You've *got* to be kidding me." Jean muttered, rubbing her forehead before hollering "Just get up here *now*!"

"Yes ma'am! Oh and…do you have any tonsils?" Remy asked rhetorically

"AAARRRGH!" Jean screamed in annoyance

"Ask a stupid question…" Scott groaned, slapping his forehead

Two minutes later…

"Well it's about *time* you guys showed up?!" Rogue barked as she was seated in the chairs by the pool as Scott, Jean, Kurt, Tabitha and Colossus entered with their pizza orders

"What the hell took you so long?!" Logan barked "And why does Gambit have a frying pan glued to his ass?!"

"Don't ask." Remy moaned in embarrassment while Jean gave Logan a look

"Ok, new plan: Zip it and eat." Scott ordered

"Now *that* sounds like a good idea" Colossus commented


	11. Chapter 11

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey p11

Chapter 11

"Scott? Scott, the paper's here. Scott?" Jean asked him only to hear Scott snoring

"Ok then." Jean said and patted him on the back

"Pizza's here!" Colossus bellowed as he, Kurt, Remy and Tabitha entered the hotel room

"Shhhh! Scott's snoozing!" Jean hissed

"Oops." Colossus replied meekly as Tabitha rubbed her forehead.

"Gee, I didn't know Scott was *that* exhausted." Kurt said rhetorically as he set up the sodas

"How'd you figure?" Jean asked

"Well…" Kurt said

One day before…

"Now remember Scott: Get a *small* soda this time, I don't want a repeat of *last* time either." Remy instructed as he and Scott stood by the soda fountain at KFC. It was around midnight and the X-Gang were seated at a booth eating

"Hmmm…Pepsi Max or Fanta?" Scott asked, stroking his beard

"Oh for God's sakes, just get one! Gotta get that name, gotta get that name…" Remy trailed

"Oh dear God, not *now*" Jean moaned as Rogue got in music motion

"_We've got to get that name, got to get that name_!" Rogue sang, hovering over an annoyed Jean

"Ugh…" Scott moaned while Remy slapped his forehead

"Ok, ok, you've done your performance, now for the love of Elohim, God on high…" Jean started to rant

"_If he will deliver us_!" Rogue belted out

"Aaargh!" Jean screamed

"Please God…" Scott moaned

"_Daddy daddy get me out of…_" Remy started before Scott grabbed him by the collar

"Don't…sing…that…song…*ever*…**again**" Scott growled

Remy nodded weakly. "Oh thank *God* that's done with!" Jean hollered out

Back at the hotel…

"So lemme get this straight: Remy and Rogue's loud singing is what caused Scott to be so tired?" Jean asked questionably, having heard the silliest story she's ever heard

"Yep." Kurt nodded

"Gee…you think maybe we should introduce Remy and Rogue to oh I don't know like Sonny and Cher." Jean noted

"Uh…" Kurt muttered

"What is it?" Jean asked before noticing "Oh my god."

"_I've got you babe. I've got you babe_" Remy and Rogue sang dressed in Sonny and Cher outfits in front of a stunned Jean, Kurt, Colossus, Tabitha and Scott

"Unbelievable." Scott gasped

"I've seen several costume get-ups…but none like *that*!" Kurt added in disgust

"Oh you've…" Logan started

"Got to be…" Kurt continued

"Kidding me." Scott finished

"Whoa. Uh, wanna watch football?" Jean asked the guys

"Knicks vs. Tigers again?" Colossus asked. Jean gave him a thumbs-up

"Dibs on the chips and dip." Kurt added as he and Remy headed into the TV room

"Hey! Save some of that dip for me!" Tabitha hollered as she, Jean, Colossus and Scott followed


	12. Chapter 12

"_Good evening. Colossus here to introduce the 12__th__ part of the ongoing Road Trip saga. Last we left off, our mutant heroes were once again contemplating on the use of caffeine…and the usual rip-offs of songs from David Bowie, Ofra Haza, and the Muppets, courtesy of Rogue and Gambit and to the dismay of Wolverine, Scott, Jean, Kurt and myself included. We have quite a chapter, loaded with the usual hilarious situations in the style of TV sitcoms and sketch comedy shows. So…without further ado…here is the 12__th__ chapter of the "Road Trip" saga. Enjoy."_

Batman100 presents

Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey

Chapter 12

"Mm-mmm! Man, that was some good fried chicken!" Bobby howled, licking his chops

"You got that right." Logan piped up, munching a biscuit

"Hey…what time is it?" Jean asked rhetorically, her eyes drooping

"Uh…time to get a watch?" Bobby joked

"Oh ha-ha very funny." Jean yawned sarcastically before snoring

"Uh, Jean? Hey, c'mon now, don't nod off. Not when we're near the pool." Bobby ordered

"Zzzz…" Jean snored, then fell on top of Logan and both splashed into the water

"Oh my god!" Bobby cackled uproariously "Man that was *hilarious!*"

"Hmmm…not very articulate Bobby right Scott?" Colossus asked turning to Scott's direction "Uh Scott?"

"Hold on Jean!" Scott screamed, racing to the pool like crazy and bowling over Tabitha

"Oof! Scott, what the *hell* are you doing?! This is *NOT* Baywatch!" Tabitha hollered

"Ugh! Jean, for God's sakes, get up!" Logan gasped as Jean continued snoozing

"Oh for crying out…Kurt, get in there *now*!" Tabitha ordered

"Me?! In there?! I just dried my fur this morning, for goodness sakes!" Kurt hollered

"To be fair, the fur's not *that* hairy." Remy commented

"Oh, thank you." Kurt responded

"By the way, where the hell's Scott?" Tabitha asked, looking around

"One guess." Rogue moaned, directing Tabitha's attention to the pool

"Popcorn?" Kurt asked as he handed Colossus a popcorn bag while watching the pool events

"Hang on Jean!" Scott hollered, hoisting Jean and Logan before accidentally blasting a taxi cab with his visor

"Nice save." Jean gasped, spitting out water as Logan supported her

"Errgh! WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO STAY ON THE SHALLOW LINE?!" Tabitha screamed in an accent similar to Bob Hoskins before Colossus dove in, causing a tidal wave to splash on everybody

"Wow! Now that's a dive!" Kurt hooted, snapping photos

"Pfft." Tabitha grunted, spitting chlorine water out of her mouth

Two minutes later…

"That was so heroic of you, Scott." Kurt commented, amazed by Scott's heroism

"By heroic, you mean destroying a New Jersey Yellow Cab that my father lent me and causing a major splash out, then *that* is heroic." Tabitha added sarcastically, using her hair blower

"Now come on. He did that to get Jean and Logan out of the deep water. How deep was it, Scott?" Colossus asked in press uniform, taking notes

"Uh Colossus, lose the fake reporter guise" Tabitha grunted, getting her makeup

"Well what can I say? A Medal of Bravery should be presented." Scott commented as Kurt took notes

"Oh you've got to be joking: You're doing a mock news interview over a silly pool accident?!" Tabitha screamed

"This is incredible! The press'll be selling it like crazy!" Colossus added excitedly


	13. Chapter 13

**Road Trip with Cyclops and Jean Grey**

Chapter 13

"Here we are, gang! Fabulous LA, California, home of Hollywood!" Scott announced, bursting with joy as he and the X-Gang stood in the front of the Capitula Theatre in Los Angeles, California, and everyone was thrilled to be in Movie Central.

"All I see is a lousy run-down theatre, with a bunch of crappy palm trees that should be from the Bahamas!" Logan snorted, guzzling down his seventh can of beer

Well, almost **everyone** were pleased with their destination. **Logan, for God's sakes, get with the program! You have any idea how long it took me to come up with this?!**

"Easy, boss. Chill out, we got this. You know, it's a good idea we added a new chapter, eh honey?" Bobby asked Madame Hydra, as she did a GQ pose on the palm trees. Their girls Aliya and Hope were at the X-Mansion with the New Mutants volunteering to babysit

**Thanks Iceman, I'll take it from here, ya hear? OK Scott, you're on**

"What?" Scott abruptly asked, having snapped out of a hallucination

"Ugh, say your lines!" Jean gasped, handing Scott the transcript

"Ok, can we please speed this up? It's freezing out here, and I think my tail's starting to grow icicles." Kurt whined, while Remy and an unwilling Rogue gave him shelter from the cold

"Oh here we go…So, what's on the agenda, boys?" Scott asked, reading his lines from the script as Logan had his claws out if necessary

"Logan, what are you doing?! We haven't gotten to the action scene yet!" Forge gasped, having snagged an attractive fan

"Well, thanks for reminding me! And speaking of reminding, where the heck'd you get **her**?" Logan snarled, his claw stuck in a palm tree

"Uh, does **this** look like an action scene to you, bub?!" Logan hissed at Scott, trying in vain to get his stuck claws out

"Uh…Wait here, I'll go get the medics." Scott decided, rushing for the hospital

"What?! Scott you idiot! They'll not only get my claws out, they'll cut em off! And I don't mean with razor blades!" Logan snapped as Scott rushed back with a medical kit, while chased by an irate surgeon

"What took you so fast?" Logan asked sarcastically, one claw out

"See that? You let go of anger, you can control yourself." Scott noted, having learned through his Idioms book

"That's right. Lesson one: Do not attack in anger." Kurt piped up

"That was from Mask of Zorro, furball!" Logan retaliated, trying aimlessly to release himself

"What's lesson two?" Jean asked, understanding the facts

"Come with me." Scott ordered, as Jean willingly followed, along with Kurt, Remy, Rogue, and Logan, while supported by Peter, having finally got his claws out of the tree

"So what's lesson three?" Logan asked as he and the X-Crew were relaxing in a sauna as Scott was massaging Jean

"To get to lesson four." Scott answered, presenting a rose to Jean

"That's good. Oh and Anthony Hopkins called-he wants his whip back!" Remy joked

"Save the jokes and respondents for later. Tonight, we battle." Scott ordered, now wearing an outfit similar to Zorro

"Oh you've got to be kidding." Logan moaned, rubbing his sore forehead as Scott brandished his sword

"What are we even doing?! What do we start?" Madame Hydra asked

Scott took a brief pause before making an X with his sword on a tablecloth before answering "…War."

Later that evening…

"Ok Scott, I know there's several Hydra traitors around here in LA. But seriously, don't you think we've had enough trouble!?" Bobby asked as he and the X-Gang was gathered behind their X-Car by the Hollywood Hills. Scott and Jean were standing behind the Hill

"You think you do; But I'm not going alone. I care, Bobby. I care about what happens to Evan and those Morlock kids. I like what I've become throughout these fifty-two stories. And let me make this perfectly clear: We fought Hydra…as a team. We stood **together** even through all the craziness we've been through!" Scott shouted, before turning to Jean "Like Jean, when I threw that spear into our window!" Jean nodded

"Like Remy, when we were doing a reckless game of hockey!" Scott continued

"Oh come on now, it was fun. Heck, it was hell worth to cause some ruckus." Remy added

"Like Logan, for that carrot joke, for making you dress up like Vegeta, for making you do all that crazy stuff we've been doing. And most of all…That talk we had during the Madame Hydra event? When you felt emotion about Mariko? You think she's gone, but you know, Logan, you **know**…she lives in **you**." Scott continued, as Logan held his head proudly, showing newfound compassion

"And I'll tell you something else! I like what we've become in all these stories! And I'm **not** going back to being a persecuted mutant! **Never!** It's time we X-Men showed America what we're made of! That we take our land! We do this: For…for justice! For…freedom! For…honesty!" Jean finished, triumphantly

"Boy…do I feel redeemed." Bobby noted

"You call it Scott." Logan noted proudly

"All for one and one for all!" Sabertooth roared triumphantly

"Thank you. I knew I could rely on all of you." Scott replied before turning to Jean "Hey, you all right?"

"Boy…that took a **hell **lot out of me." Jean breathed, recovering from her rousing speech

"Ok so here's the plan: We form a large armada. We take the X-Van right here, to the Stardust Casino. We split into two groups: First is Pyro, Lance, Kitty, Sam, Tabitha, Ray, Roberto, Jamie and Victor. Second is Jean, Logan, Peter, Kurt, Bobby, Madame Hydra, Mastermind, Remy, Rogue and me." Scott finished, as all agreed on the plan

"So what do we do once we get in the loot room, boss?" Sabertooth asked

"We search the areas of the casino for Evan and the Morlocks. First, we take out the security on he Hydra. Second, we quietly smuggle the casino money into the X-Van using a tow truck for a cover-up." Jean noted

"I can do the driving. I've had some expertise back in West Virginia." Sam volunteered

"Ok then Sam, you'll do the driving. Tabitha, you and Kitty will have to distract the guards so we can get in without getting caught." Jean continued

"What can we distract them with?" Kitty asked as Scott answered, handing her and Tabitha two tranquilizer guns "Shoot quietly. And if any one tries to intervene, shoot them with that too." Scott finished as Tabitha and Kitty nodded

"All right soldiers: Let's go for it." Scott ordered, as the X-Gang charged into the casino

"We're gonna need all the help we can get." Sabertooth moaned before Logan patted him on the back

"Aw come on Vic, lighten up. We can do this." Logan answered, having roused Sabretooth's long since buried heroism

"Yeah….let's have some **fun**." Sabertooth grinned proudly, opening the door before letting Scott enter first

"You're learning." Scott responded. Sabertooth nodded in respect before giving Tabitha and Kitty the signal

"All right, Kat. Let's bust 'em." Tabitha hissed, charging in as Kitty tried to keep up

"Ok we're in boss. So far, no tight lips from security." Logan announced, talking to Scott on his mobile communicator as Scott and the group were in the slot machine room

"Good. Now listen: You and Victor try to disable the power supply levels on the Hydra weapons. Once you do, they'll be inoperable. What you're looking for are three red-and-blue colored wire cables. They should be right by you." Scott noted as Sabertooth got hold of them

"Oh Logan, I think I…." Victor stared before

"Found it!" Logan answered, cutting the power supply wires using the blue cord to be cut off with a surgical knife.

"Nice work, partner!" Sabertooth cheered

"Just like the CIA all over again." Logan replied grinning as he and Victor headed for the elevator

Meanwhile…

"Now remember Ray…no screw ups this time." Sam ordered cautiously as he, Ray, Roberto and Jamie entered the security control center, guns drawn if necessary

"Im unsure about this. It's crazy and dangerous." Jamie whimpered, trying to stay clear of a propane tank

"Of course it's crazy, Multiple! But it is fun!" Sam answered with a goofy grin

"Sam…when you get that look, disaster happens." Jamie moaned as Roberto's eyes went wide

"Get down! Sam, look out!" Roberto hollered as a Hydra soldier had his rifle sights on Sam

"Oh no you don't, asshole!" Sabertooth roared, tackling the assailant before stripping him of his weapon before beating him into submission

"Woo! Nice work Sabes!" Pyro cheered, having witnessed the scene

"Save it for later Firebug. Keep your eyes open for Evan. And watch your step." Sabertooth ordered giving Sam a lift

"You got it boss." Pyro answered before ordering "Let's move, boys" with Lance, Roberto, Ray, Sam, Victor and Jamie

Meanwhile…

"Listen ladies, I did **not** order any Girl Scout cookies! And I have allergies to peanut butter, for God's sakes!" A security guard exasperated as Tabitha and Kitty distracted security while Scott and his group sneaked into the hanger bay

"Ok then, allow me and my associate to send our regards." Tabitha responded, her hand moving to her tranquilizer gun behind her back

"What regards?" The guard asked hastily, pistol drawn

"This!" Jean answered, shooting a dart into the guard's neck

"Aw…shit." The guard moaned before dropping to the floor, safely unconscious

"Good work ladies. Now help me hack into the controls here." Jean ordered, holstering her pistol and placing the guard into a nearby taxi

"Ok, I know how to do this: It's like a video game or something." Tabitha responded excitedly, now online to the programming computer

"Well…get your skills working. And make it quick." Jean noted, her scents picking up the smell of nitroglycerin

Meanwhile…

"Ok Kurt, hand me the wrench." Scott ordered as he, Victor, Logan, Peter, Rogue and Kurt were now in the boiler room of the casino

"Is this **really** a good idea?" Rogue asked nervously, stepping away from a propane tank gun

"Rogue, relax: Where's your spirit of adventure?" Logan asked, unknowingly opening the gas valve

"What's that smell?" Victor asked curiously, his nose picking up traces of nearby smoke

"Ah must be your imagination." Scott answered, finishing the gas valve controls

"If that's imagination…then how the hell are we gonna imagine **that**?" Rogue gasped, as a nearby propane canister exploded into a large billow of fire

"Oh boy." Scott winced, as fire sparks flew out like crazy

"Let's get the hell out of here!" Victor roared as he and the crew ran for the exit, Logan grabbing Scott by the shoulder

"Faster! It's gonna blow!" Rogue screamed, waving her hands hysterically

"Whoo-hoo! Just like our job in Nam!" Victor roared with enthusiasm

"What the hell did you do like this out in Vietnam?" Scott asked, panting

"Well…it's a long story." Victor answered

"Save it for later, Vic! We gotta warn the guys! This whole casino's gonna go up in smoke!" Logan hollered, breaking the door open before jumping into a nearby swimming pool, just before the boiler room conflagrated in smoke

"BLAMMMMM!"

"Well…so much for **that** bright idea." Logan heaved, gasping for air, spitting out water

"So…any more bright ideas?" Victor asked, checking for burn marks

"Let's just say desperate things call for desperate measures. Logan?" Scott asked, holding up a familiar costume in Logan's direction

"Oh boy…" Logan started before reluctantly taking his Vegeta costume "Let's blast em."

Elsewhere, in the security hanger…

"Did you hear the explosion?!" Madame Hydra gasped as she and the first group were witnessing the fire breakout in the basement area of the casino as Jean scanned the cameras with worried eyes in search of her husband and his crew

"Please Scott…be careful. Be safe." Jean sobbed, tears flowing as Madame Hydra comforted her

"There there honey. They'll be fine. I know it." Madame Hydra said, her soothing words comforting a distraught Jean

"Uh, Jean? You might wanna see this." Kitty responded, half-giggling

Jean's look of sadness turned into a smile of joy when she saw two familiar characters entering through the alley entrance

"Scott! Logan! They're all right!" Jean cheered

"*And* in their Dragon Ball Z costumes, also." Madame Hydra added, amused by this turn of events "Good luck boys." She whispered as the two bravely entered

"Did you hear that?" Logan gasped, his ultrasensitive ears picking up something

"What was it? I know it couldn't be a rat, less in this area of the casino." Scott commented, a look of disgust over the filthy conditions of the area

"There it is again! Wait…it sounded like Evan." Logan replied, his ears picking up the sounds of a whip cracking- and the sound of…humans screaming. **Human** children, being tormented.

"We gotta get in there, like now!" Logan roared, gun drawn

"I hear it too, buddy!" Scott called back, busting the door open and seeing Evan, Callisto, Caliban and several human teenage children…and their kidnappers

"Let them go, you Hydra scum-spewing rats." Logan snarled, his rifle sights aimed at the head kidnapper's eyesight

"And if we refuse?" The thief sneered before seeing Jean nearby, shovel raised

"I'll persuade you." Jean hissed, clobbering the assailants with the shovel, while Victor, Jamie and Peter hastened to strip them of their weapons while Scott, Logan and the rest of the group freed Evan and the hostages

"Evan!" Ororo shouted cheerfully as she embraced her nephew, tears happily streaking down

"Thank you for your courage. Your heroics have earned our respect." Callisto answered, proud of the X-Men's achievement before turning to Scott "Oh…and there's someone who would like to see you" before motioning Scott to a familiar-looking figure standing in the foreway

"That was very brave of you, Scott. I figured you have what it takes to wear the Saiyan Suit." The man responded before revealing himself and the X-Men were shocked with delight when they saw who it was

"Goku…" Logan whispered in wonder and admiration

"I wanted to thank you for something. About letting me and Rogue being together." Remy said, coming up to Goku, handing him a wrapped object

"…An X-Belt." Goku said, his eyes filled with joy before embracing Scott and the X-Men

"Just something to remember us. Oh and it has a teleporter; You can come here and Namek, back and forth. Unlimited energy, of course." Scott noted proudly

"How about coming with me to Namek? All of you are welcome, because of your heroic duty you achieved, through your use of teamwork, courage, integrity and partnership." Goku announced, as the X-Men exchanged proud looks before nodding in agreement to Goku's offer

"Here we go again…" Logan replied, with a goofy smile on his face as he, Goku and the X-Crew were instantly teleported a thousand light-years away…to Namek.


End file.
